Tara Áine

poverty

what will i do with these anxieties?

posted by Denise @ 10:12 PM 0 comments

lying in light filtered by blinds

i'm going to have to learn to come alive all by myself.
maybe not a bad thing.
i'll miss the hope that the prospect of you bought to my horizon

posted by Denise @ 7:04 PM 0 comments

disappointment in my room

it comes as no surprise that i'm not picked for your team -
but i did hope.
you are still beautiful
and i will go back to being how i was.

posted by Denise @ 6:59 PM 0 comments

My only 2ndpersonsingular

*You* are a thousand synonyms for beautiful.

How would I find a lifetime of ways to tell you how you are?

Your motley flock reveals an even brighter you

posted by Denise @ 11:22 PM 0 comments

Not gay in the chem lab

His Adonis-like physique comes as a welcome sight after all last night's thinkings. Confronted with 6"5 of lean muscle mass my emotional dependencies on other women and those colourful, confusing infatuations, are starved out by a Darwinian longing for someone who looks like he could kill a moderately-sized mammal with his bare hands.

posted by Denise @ 5:11 PM 0 comments

Sensitive

I'd love to know what kind of things used to make you cry and if you still get hurt sometimes.

I feel hopeful that somewhere inside you is the feeling that I have too - that maybe we could share it! I worry that we couldn't -

even though you're perfect.

posted by Denise @ 5:05 PM 0 comments

RSS

i really hope that no-one is getting a feed of this stuff.

for a change, i'd like this to be a place where i can get rid of my need for self-disclosure before it destroys the healthy relationships i do actually have

posted by Denise @ 5:03 PM 0 comments

I wish I knew how much he meant this when he sent it to me.

But I knew he would take care of me.

That's what makes him beautiful,

and me emotionally dependent.

Nerdy and emo:
We were so deathcab.

posted by Denise @ 5:00 PM 0 comments

Songs through my head

This week, these lines have been going through my head:

Passenger Seat

I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"Do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter.

When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide
For all time.

Neon

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can
She comes and goes and no one knows
She's slipping through my hands


She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away

Between The Bars

Drink up baby, stay up all night
With the things you could do
You won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now
And forget all about the pressure of days
Do what I say and I'll make you okay
And drive them away
The images stuck in your head

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Drink up baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air
Waiting to finally be caught
Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
Keep you apart, deep in my heart
Separate from the rest, where I like you the best
And keep the things you forgot

The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

posted by Denise @ 4:53 PM 0 comments

Dress rehearsal

Inevitably people have the same conversations, and next time this one comes up I hope I have the courage to answer like this in your presence:

"What do you find attractive?"
"Well, all the normal stuff I suppose, but I've always kind of found tall lanky sort of guys attractive. Well, striking-looking people in general"
and maybe I will add "like women in bold colours, that wear scarves and have striking face-bones"
and then I hope that you will find me interesting,
and you will know a bit more about me that I hope you will be able to accept,
and maybe you will know that I like you.

posted by Denise @ 4:49 PM 0 comments

Pregnant with air

I feel less of a woman for being so full of hot air
of talking about dreams and feeling so dreamless
I need to be that creative soul - that wears scarves - and plans surprises -
but I'm a nine-to-five girl just getting by
Yet I know that I could be
Might one day be
Can still be
Pregnant!
With something - new

posted by Denise @ 4:46 PM 0 comments

African sun in and English sky

She is bright and bleached like colour under bright light
And I play along but increasingly find myself at the risk of being irrevocably sincere -
it scares me to feel on the edge of being myself again
I wonder what will happen

posted by Denise @ 4:43 PM 0 comments